Tell me what you think:
A progressive is one who expects the worse and prepares for the best. They think that my guns are going to go out all by themselves and rob banks and kill grandmas, but they don't ever think that it could be them who gets mugged.
A conservative is one who prepares for the worst and expects the best. They don't expect anything to happen with an inanimate object that is sitting in a bedside table drawer, but they keep it there just in case someone comes through the bedroom window at O dark hundred.