I got this in the mail:
"Blah blah, blah, survey on TV watchage, yadda, yadda, yadda..."
If only they knew what my TV looked like:
Hey, but don't let those rabbit-ears fool you--that old RCA is a lean, mean, multi-media MACHINE! I mean, just look at the wood panelling! Stand in awe of a remote-control that USED TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE THE CHANNELS, and TURN THE VOLUME UP AND DOWN! And check out that sweet late-nineties DVD player! Nothing but the best, I always say!
So, "nielsen," if that is your real name, why don't I just tell you the answers to your "special opportunity" right now--I don't like surveys. I don't watch TV. In fact, I think that TV is the mainstream media's way of brainwashing the masses with their hand-picked information and entertainment. "The better to subjugate, you," and all that. You lost me when FOX canceled Firefly. If I decide to return your little white-and-blue envelope, don't expect any of the answers to be true. Or even grounded in your plane of reality.
And stop bugging me.