...The Song of the Temperance UUUUNNNIIIIOOON!!!!

I have no idea how authentically prohibition this song is--I think maybe it started out as a temperance song but the ridiculous lyrics were added by people poking fun at them.

"We never eat cookies, because they have yeast.
One bit of that turns a man to a beast!
Can you imagine a sadder disgrace,
Then a man in the gutter, with crumbs on his face?"

Here's a verse I made up for those modern prohibitionists, the Gun-Controller Rights-Restrictors:

"We never will carry a gun like a Glock,
They who would defend themselves should be hit with a rock!
O can you imagine blood soaking the streets?
All the grandmas and children quiv'ring under their sheets."

See? It's easy! Got any others? I'll post them if you leave one in the comments.